Well, as most of you know, I'm not in Zambia anymore. I've been home for about five months now. I can't believe its been that long already! Needless to say, just because I'm not living on the opposite side of the world anymore doesn't mean that I am not learning each day. I've talked with some friends the last few weeks and someone asked me why I don't blog anymore. I've actually started many blog posts but just haven't felt right about posting anything multiple times. I have written four or five sentences and then erased them all because it just doesn't seem as important anymore. Well today is the first time I feel like writing again so here it goes...
These last few weeks have been a blur and I have been bombarded with lots of changing circumstances. To list a few: I soon will be an aunt for the first time, I graduated from college (WHAT?!?), I've interviewed for three RN positions and have received one offer already [waiting to hear back on the most recent interview], filled out my first apartment application...that's right, I'm moving out of my parents' house **insert scream here** (this is not necessarily a jump for joy type of scream, but more a bittersweet one), and lastly, have been preparing for one of the biggest tests of my life, THE NCLEX.
As one could gather, life seems to be moving a little more quickly than I am ready to move with it. This afternoon, after a long, tiring day of travel, I collapsed on a friend's couch, overwhelmed and disheartened....
PAUSE
And then God intervened. I turned on my favorite worship song -- "Come to Me" from Bethel Music. As I let the words pour over me, I realized that I have not given control over to my Lord. Wait, I've been selfish!?! No way, not me, a mere human, a sinner saved by the grace of my gracious Heavenly Father. Yes, it was brought to my attention that I have been trying to hold everything together on my own, and not asking God to take the reigns. It seems as though when we do this, when we take control, it usually ends up (in my case at least) with a pile of tears and very weary individual. Well this is exactly what happened tonight. I can honestly say this is a lesson God seems to be constantly teaching me. Why is it that we can't just learn things the first time? I'm sure God says that to Himself all the time. I am thankful that I follow a God who always welcomes me with open arms no matter how many times I attempt life on my own.
Life lessons will continue on this next leg of my journey and I am so excited to see what God has in store now that I have once again handed the reigns over to Him. May He do as He wills.
"that they may see and know, may consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, the Holy One of Israel has created it" - Isaiah 41:20
